Ironclad Cycling

If we did have nude photos of him, you’d have them by now, as would the far reaches of the interwebs. But, alas, we have nary such a shot. Just some questions and bad photos Dave took.

He’s a tough one to corral, and even quieter once you do (note his answers) but we felt it time to turn the tables on Pat Malach, the guy that makes us all in OBRA feel famous with his website : Oregon Cycling Action. He’s the guy with the really great racing photos. The timely interviews. The intrepid figure standing in shit weather to document OBRA and it’s racing highlights. The guy that quietly does so much for us finally gets asked the hard questions. Ok, not really. They’re pooftie questions. But hey, you gotta show your love for guys like this!

Pat Malach, Esq., Circa 2010

What was the impetus behind OCA?
Have you been talking to my doctor?

How long did you race in OBRA?
Three or four seasons. My first race was in Montana. Two fields: men and women.

Do you still hold a license?
Yes. Cat 3 on the road and Cat 4 on the track

What would it take to get you to pin a number on again?
I’m waiting for a phone call from Lance and Johan.

Where did you grow up?
I didn’t.

Can bacon solve the world’s problems?
There are no problems, only solutions, and bacon is a big part of most of them.

Strangest thing a pro ever told you?
“Please don’t send any photos of me VeloNews or CyclingNews.” (He was using a non-sponsor disc wheel in a TT)

Favorite rock band of all time?
Depends on when you ask. I’m currently on a Rush kick.

Would you vote for Candi Murray in 2012 and NOT send those chamsquatches back to Washington?
Murray/Coker 2012!

The 2nd Annual Sharon Sandoval Synovial Memorial Pigskin Challenge went off before the turkey went down, and a good time was had by all. What’s Thanksgiving without a little touch football mixed in? Just another day, that’s what.

Jose was on hand to shoot the action, and you can see all the action right here.

Meanwhile, ride the pine on the sideline with this:

And sloth becomes our lover. Beautiful, cruel, chocolatey sloth. Beer soaked, expanding waistline, double serving of bacon sloth. Ok, fuck that, triple serving of bacon – the kind you get from the deli counter, too.

And what better foil to sloth than a beard? Probably lots, but it just sounded good. So let’s check our inter-team beard progress, shall we?

Dave is rocking some action early on. Dizzy’s side panels don’t come in, so he’s going with a “Harwood” (goat). Ace is prepping for her new role in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The Colonel‘s beard was an exercise in abject failure, but as usual, he gave it his all. That leaves Harwood as our last installment of the day. More beards to come for you to laugh at.

Also coming up: an exclusive interview with Oregon Cycling Action’s own Pat Malach! Stay tuned!

A good day for our wee wolves out in Salem, racing for CX OBRA championship greatness yesterday. Also a great day for those who managed by De Casa De Ryan y Johannes for homemade smoked pork loins later in the day. Pretty much a great day any way you slice it.

Hearty congrats to The Ace for her 2nd OBRA jersey (the 4th for the team) of 2010, winning the inaugural women’s singlespeed championship race. Marylynn King also kept throwing punches to slot in 4th when all was said and done. Lana overcame a birthday party hangover to get 10th in the B’s. An amazing day for our ladies, picking up Anona’s whose early bad luck hurt her race. Trevor Spahr gave us a nice top ten 9th in the men’s singlespeed slaughter.

The rest of us hooked up to the teat that is Smoked Pork Loin goodness afterwards. Top notch. There’s a good look below, and another fine, fine shot of the podium and the deserving top three riders right here.

Ace on the top step for Ironclad

photo swiped from Levo, who probably swiped it from someone else, and so on

Lana and Kira turned the page on another year on the same day Friday, so we decided to race bikes in a basement and eviscerate a helpless panda bear to celebrate. We’re panda killers.

Kira wisely accepted her birthday wishes from afar with her family, but Lana went headlong into the maw of idiocy with the rest of us.

anona’s face got stuck like that

There was dancing and drinking and treats of all kinds.

Dave Roth stopped by, and made a timely suggestion for bike racing in the basement. The idea gestated for all of 2.3 seconds before becoming a reality and the jig was up. A panda was cut open and thrown in for good measure. 2 skateboards made the mix. Several bottles hit the deck, and the red wine ran like a river of blood.

only 3 people and 1 panda per bicycle, please

Well, I guess technically it’s mustaches that get you laid, but we’re throwing beards in as part and parcel of that, especially up here in the Pacific Northwest. Yup. Beards are crucial as most of us now turn our attention to base miles for the 2011 road season. Those long, slow, days in the coldy misty rainy shitty weather are made so much more bearable by a proper face shield, what we know as “The Beard”. Besides, looking like Belov is a lot of fun from time to time,  helps scare the kiddies.

Here, we have Howard the Goat displaying the “come hither” prowess of The Beard. Do not deny it.

Howard scores!

In other bike related news, the Cross Crusade is once again dead for another year, rounding out the series with Barton Park, the gravelly, collarbone eating monster. We had Marylynn King rounding out a great series with a 4th place finish that should put her in 5th overall (we think) for the series. Also playing bike yesterday in our limited crew were Trevor Bickle in the A’s, along with Anona in the Women’s A’s as well. Both posted nice results for themselves. The rest of us sat around and ate and drank, watching football. Time for no bikes for a bit….

isn’t it?

Turns out the link at Vimeo has done gone viral. 21,200 views on Nov 9th alone. Now that’s just plain silly.

We didn’t get the dreaded disease, but MK47 brought us home a nice 2nd place in the women’s B’s. Lots of rear derailluers met their makers yesterday….rough day. Some went, others have hung it up, others found football more intriguing, and others still were stuck home watching  THIS TRAILER VIDEO and laughing their dongs off.

No pics, lots of  “that was fun but hard” commentary, and that about sums it up.

Please, we invite you to laugh at us and with us by watching this little film trailer:

Ironclad Performance Wear Cycling Team: A Summer Behind Bars: A Film By Will Walle