Ironclad Cycling

What a weekend. No need to tell any stories. Besides, the vodka has clogged the brains. Which were eaten by zombies. Twice. So, never mind. Lots of goodness. See the pictures HERE.

suspect

Along with all the gallons of booze, the funny ha ha’s, the DQ’s and the other usual idiocy Hallow’s Eve weekend brings upon us, we must make mention again of our dear Brody and his show stopping new bicycle creation – the Pegasus bike with actual working wings. What goes on in that dude’s head, we have no idea, but we do know he has the crowd’s best interests at heart, whether it’s manufacturing the coolest tricked out bikes ever, or in THIS CASE, defiling wild gorillas during the race so they could pose no threat to the spectators. In case you were wondering, after this hasty coupling, the serviced gorilla simply passed out in the sunshine on the hill. After all, it’s not everyday a centurion has his way with you.

We’ve got an album. It sounds a lot like THIS. But also like THIS. But it’s really just this.

1. Fuck You, Beerfish

2. The One Second

3. Rain In May

4. Sad Clown

5. Don’t Get Any Finish On Ya

6. Enter The Wolf

7. Red Hots For Sale

Bonus Tracks Available on Vinyl Release Only – Red Wax

8. Fuck Towel (Live at The Roxy, Hollywood, CA)

9. Tight Box (Live at The Metro, Chicago, IL.)

10. Birthing Chair (Live at the Iowa State Fair)

Recorded entirely at Fireside Studios, Montserrat, May – September, 2010. All noises by Ironclad Performance Wear.

Back cover art:

Good apocalyptic conditions at PIR today. So much so, we were seemingly blown back to being cavemen. Doesn’t he look pleasant? We think so. Long live Dan Penner.

A smallish wolfpack braved deathly fun conditions at PIR to slog through high winds, sloppy mud, sticky mud, muddy waters, and at times stinging rain to rack up some good placings. We think we got a couple top 5′s in the Women’s A’s and B’s, and a top ten in singlespeeds, and a bunch of other strong finishes scattered throughout the ranks. Results unofficial and not complete as of press time. Mother Nature gave us a good one today. May the deity of your choice bless our diligent OBRA officiating crews every day, but especially on days like Sunday.

wolves, obscured

A few shots of the action RIGHT HERE for you to look at.

Jose Sandoval has his usual excellence for your review RIGHT HERE, too.

Steven Fitzgerald shot some great stuff and it is RIGHT HERE.

That was a good ‘un…..

You’ve all noticed our animalistic transformation to a more lupine look this year. Wolves are cool. We don’t know why. What’s funnier still is the spam this site gets from time to time, with the latest one being a barrage of spam links attacking our Roster page (up top) with link after link for farm sex, animal sex, etc. etc. But no wolf sex. I guess we have that on our shoulders now, don’t we? Literally. Look closely.

And along with wolf sex comes more wolves. In this case, wolves have been loosed in the form of one Mr. Doug Ollerenshaw, esq. racing in Dahlonega, GA in our wolf kit. You can see the visual evidence from the event photographer RIGHT HERE. And he’s scored the ‘pack a top ten.

Mens A 1 Thomas Turner Jamis/Outspokin

Mens A 2 Ryan Leech Hilton Head Cycling

Mens A 3 Mark Cockrell

Mens A 4 Nate Sibley Aaron’s p/b New England Financial

Mens A 5 Alex Clifford Faster Mustache

Mens A 6 Doug Ollrenshaw Agitated Wolf p/b Dave

Mens A 7 Jamie Saye Peachtree Bikes

Mens A 8 Jafer Beizer Fulton Flyers

Mens A 9 Brady Rogers Ion-United Healthcare

Mens A 10 Brian DeRose Reality Bikes

Thank you for racing, Doug, and for the innovative team affiliation. Well done.

In more local news, the 4th Blind Date has come and gone and the egregious levels of drunken groping are reaching a new high. All the local Portland area PTA board members and clergy’s outcries are reaching a fever pitch. Look, you can’t put all this heavily breathing fit people in their underwear in all these dates and not expect some touchy-feely stuff. It just happens. Last night Lana and Brie “scored” us two top tens in the Women’s B’s with 6th and 4th respectively, and Crawfy, Willis, and Barker “went hard” as well, as did Travis Bickle, who “nailed” us 2nd place in the Single Speeds, and looks now to be in contention for the overall series lead. All these dates….what does the series winner get? Pick of the litter? Hard to say, no pun intended.

Here’s a bunch of pics from Steven. We have no pics. Just a long walk of shame home from the Dairy.

A busy weekend for the wolfpack indeed. As you’ve read by now, our dear Kmac in her grand return lead a large crew at the new Ninkrossi CX race in Washougal on Saturday, which was an awesome new venue and a very well put together race. Thankfully it had a lot of beer (that you could drink in the open), a tough, demanding and fun course, and not eighty two thousand children. Well done David and David! Also worthy of another mention was Brianna Walle’s excellent ride in her 3rd race as a B do bring us a clear victory. Nice work Brie.

Sunday was a mixed bag for the team, as Sanders, Clark, and Bruce went eastward to Montana to race the Rolling Thunder event, which by all reports was a great course with great crowds. Sanders top ten, while Clark showed the Montana womenfolk what’s up by notching a fine 3rd place to make a podium appearance.

Clark rippin’ around ol’ stumpy

Some folks sat home on couches, or did yard work, or did anything but bike racing.

And another pod of us of course couldn’t resist the cycloscat of Sherwood, and went south to take on the Crusade. Willis, Joel, Penner, Whitley, Crawfy, Trevor, and Marylynn all wanted some horsey time. In the picture below you can see Willis here getting a really good whiff of horsey time. Reports of an improved course came back to HQ and the nice weather really helped make an amazing racing weekend for the team.

that ain’t home cookin’

Another Blind Date on tap this week, and then PIR weekend upon us, which is nice because it’s so close for us, since we’re a lot of east siders…..no need to drive or tent or any of that stuff, just ride a couple of miles to the venue! Let’s hope for a nice smattering of mud.

The inaugural Ninkrossi Race in Washougal, WA., has come and gone and what it day it was. An awesome new course, run over bumps, meadows, bits of singletrack, leafy and rocky muddy bits, coupled with fantastic weather and serenaded by motocross bikes howling, yielded a good time for all. For our little Wolfpack, the day ended with some good results, most notably Brianna Walle’s single handed wire-to-wire dismantling of the B’s field to take her first victory since upgrading. Lots of other top tens and good showings by Steph Croy, MK47, Erin Willig, The Ace, Barker, and Ryan Smith as well. And while a good day overall, and results being what they may, it was a day of one sole headline. That being the headline the return of our own dear Kmac – Kristin McCarthy (now Culpepper!) more than a year after a wreck that redefined her life, as well as all of ours. This time last year our dear gal was fresh off of wearing a seatbelt in a wheelchair, after a traumatic brain injury suffered in a wreck at PIR in June of 09. What’s followed since that terrible day has been a lot of mental and physical rehabilitation, arduous months spent in medical facilities, ups and downs, and the step by step slow rebuilding of a normal life. Back on her feet, back at work, and newly married, today marked a pinnacle of sorts in what has been nothing short of a miraculous comeback – today, Kristin donned a wolf suit, pinned on a number, and toed a start line. October 16th, 2010, you’re hereby owned.

Ace, Idiot, Phoenix

We wouldn’t have made it through that time without the amazing support of our community – you, the OBRAlites – and today if you were there, we all shared this moment as one big team. Kristin finished 17th out of 17 women  in the B’s, but between everyone there, from the top A racers to the Beginners, of any age group or gender, there’s no argument that Kristin was the one sole winner today. The sweetest victories come in the strangest ways.

congratulations from the Queen herself. Candi Murray 2012

It’s hard really to fathom all that’s come and gone since that day Kmac visited Oblivion. If you try to put yourself in a year long recovery process and get through all the battles, large and small, and get to the moment of pinning a number back on and rolling to the start line, it all seems so surreal. Fillies at the gate. Nerves ratcheted up. The loud silence of the nervous group. Then, the whistle, and all hell breaks loose. Condensing a year plus and all that’s gone into it in a paragraph or two is a sad but noble attempt. There aren’t enough words to match the emotion of our team and our community today. The circle complete, the return final, join us all in a tip of a cap and a raising of the glass to the one, the only Phoenix, Kristin McCarthy Culpepper.

safe in the loving arms of her team

We have a bunch of pictures of this glorious day right HERE for you to look at.

Dave Roth has the day captured rather neatly HERE.

I guess so.

Sent a pod of wolves into the fray at the Blind Date series, where Travis Bickle scored 2nd in the SS to get back in the overall race after a win and a DNF due to mechanical. Looks like a mighty fine battle shaping up there in the final weeks.

Brianna Walle aced her first test as a B, coming in 10th, while Stephanie Croy came in 15th. A brief glimpse shows Atlin in the C’s, Dizzy in the B’s, and Anona hitting the women’s A field all with solid finishes. Searching for some pics, but you can try the usual suspects of Roth and Malach to find some good content.

Ninkrossi on Saturday, and the original Cycloscat course of Sherwood (which claims to be flatter and more shit-free) on Sunday. See you ’round the races.

A smattering of somewhat team/dance/drunk oriented photos are right here for you to look at. To get a slice of it, we wanted to show you that we care greatly about dental health. Remember kids: ignore your teeth and they’ll go away.

And towards the end of the night, poor Howard, broken bones and all, plays the Clean Up Game on nearby tables, swilling down anything left out in the open. Notice that Dan Penner is fist bumping. Or throwing. Or douching. We don’t know what you call it, but you’re on notice now: Dan Penner can dance. Shake a leg. Break a biscuit. Wow!

What? Don’t believe us about Dan Penner? Holy hell kid, look at this. Surrounded by hot chicks, with bits of tempeh still stuck in his beard, he cuts a rug and makes it look easy.

And now it’s back to the very serious business of fucking off and not taking cyclocross too seriously. Congrats again Kristin and Clint!

Join us in extending our heartiest, warmest, fuzziest, and sincerest congratulations to our own Kristin McCarthy and Beer’s Clint Culpepper on their recent nuptials. The two tied the knot on 10.10.10 with both teams in strong attendance. The ceremony was beautiful and all the friends and family were on hand to make it an amazing night.

Some of us did the double, and blasted up to Rainier to race in the mud bog, and finish just in time to wipe off some mud, blast back to Portland, put on a monkey suit or a nice dress, and jam to the wedding spot. Robbie Carver notched another 2nd place in a great effort against a stacked field. Trevor Spahr and The Ace went to race, while Ryan Smith’s ride blew up on him as some idiot station attendant put regular fuel in Gerow’s diesel VW. Needless to say, that didn’t work out.

photo by Marylynn?

Dave Roth got a bunch of great photos right here.

Of course Oregon Cycling Action was on hand, avoided arrest, and managed to deliver this report.

A short report from Heiser Farms CX race trickled in this morning, showing Stephanie Croy 3rd in the Women’s B’s, Mark Koller 3rd in the Men’s C’s, and the Colonel nothing just inside the top ten with 9th in what is purported to be the mussiest race of the year so far. The Rainier hill beckons today, good luck to any and all out there swinging.

Today we marry off Clint and Kristin! We’re very excited and I bet we’ll see most of you at the ceremony in a few hours!