Goodnight, David.

The memorial lap at PIR for David Oliphant tonight was indeed a surreal and amazing thing to be a part of. A bunch of us jumped in the “peloton” numbering….I don’t know….200? It seemed endless.

Doing the first half lap in cold rain and overcast, finishing the back half in sunshine escorted by dual rainbows (really, truly, no shit) was beyond description. Rest easy, David.

Racing was racing, we did well in the 1/2/3 with a 4th and a 6th. Pales in comparison with the theme of the night, which was David Oliphant, his family, and his team. Pat Malach of Oregon Cycling Action caught the bicycle procession in the moment.

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Harwood WINS OBRA TT Championship!

Congrats are in order for Jeff Harwood, who brought our first OBRA champion’s jersey into the camp by winning the OBRA 40k TT with a best time in the Masters Men 35-39 category of  57:25:00.

Well done Jeff! The results were under review due to some timing equipment errors, but the truth has come to light after some looking back over the results and we have ourselves a champion!

We Love It When A Plan Falls Apart ….. Then Comes Together

Awesome day for the squad both on and off the road on Saturday. On the dirt at Vernonia Short Track we had MK47 and Barker scoring 2nd and 3rd place respectively in their fields. WELL DONE dirt heads!

And on to the wonderful Mississippi crit, where we brought numbers and a plan to the Cat 3 race. The numbers were quickly halved and the plan went right into the crapper about 20 minutes in, but plan B came to the fore with flying colors. With the numbers we were expected to do some of the work, and work we did. Robbie Carver wins the MVP award for the race for almost single-handedly chasing down a dangerous mid – race break of 7 or 8 riders, then having the cajones to snap off the front in the final laps to set up our remaining well placed riders for the sprint. A rider came out of nowhere to take top honors, but Harwood and Willis slotted 2nd and 3rd respectively. Swiping 2/3 of the podium ain’t bad at all. Hot roller derby chicks as podium girls ain’t bad, either. Pat Malach got the picture. Helmet on the podium?

Gratuitous Crotch Shot

We had Trevor in the 1/2 race, and the poor guy got wiped out by some chick throwing water out of a cup at the riders. Raising his hand for a moment to deflect the woman’s outstretched arm, a tumble occurred. Everyone is ok, so far as we know, but folks -PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep your hands and feet out of the roadway during a race. And don’t THROW SHIT at the riders. Please. Thank you. Other than that, thank you NoPo, for coming out in force to support this great event.

Robbie, MVP

Bunches of pics coming very soon. Joe was snapping away and you can find them all here. Soon.

In the meantime, you can get the professional version of events from Pat Malach here. We also use his pictures in this post. It will cost us a Miller High Life.

Slicing Up The Murderhorn

With heavy hearts after the passing of our colleague David Oliphant of the Ironclad sponsored TAI team, we set out for the first of the Mt Tabor race series on the volcano Wednesday night. Though it felt like January, we tore it up out there and posted some great results.

Ace 3rd in the Senior Women was our top spot, with Hannes 5th in the 3′s, Croy and Armstrong 5th and 6th in the W4′s, Atlin 7th in the 5′s, Killer Koller in the Fixed Gear class, and our man Trevor Sparhticus 4th in the Senior Men’s race. Assists by Barker, Gerow, and Robbie.

Now that’s a fine night’s work if I’ve ever seen one.

Also, in memory of David, there will be a remembrance lap in the Tuesday edition. Armbands with David’s “112″ will be passed out to wear. Please join to remember him, racing or not. The lap will be lead by his brother, his team, and his family and friends.

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Monday M?nandæg Moon Day

It was dry, there were eight thousand riders out there. It was beautiful.

We rode around in circles with the hordes. Lana, Steph, Vanessa in the women’s affair. Dave and Harwood in the 1/2/3. Joe, Mark and Shaun in the 4/5. Conley brought home the best result with a 7th place. There were hot dogs sold, and one or two really sad clowns. Hooray!

No photos. Rock out to some Dio instead. I know it’s awesome, but in a savant kinda way. I mean, seriously. The tune is aces, but the video is weak sauce. That initial “battle scene”? Really, who you crappin’?

Beat down homoerotic masked dude. Talk about jumping on tigers, and getting away. Get new sword from other weird looking homoerotic dude. Walk away really creepily with new sword, pass a burned dude. Closeup on a rat. End film.

Wait, still awesome.

Birthdays, Deathdays, and Sad Clowns

It’s all a theme here, people.

The weekend saw a fine birthday soiree for the skipper and another familial gathering of Ironclad. I think we’ve gathered more this year in regular clothes while not racing than any other year. One thing’s for sure – we’re as tight as a team can be heading into Elkhorn. Our yearly pilgrimage to Baker City is a scant two weeks away and we’ve got high spirits, great camaraderie, and The Colonel has secured the RV to take us out there. Holy shit, it’s gonna be great.

A fine gathering was first on Saturday, to discuss birthdays and deathdays – namely Elkhorn.

circle the wagons

It were a fine event. The team got together and secured some wonderful gifts for the Captain, including a  a fridge full of beer. Don’t believe me? Bought and brought by bike, understand the gift was the refrigerator itself, and all the beer to fill it. The trailer was a bit stressed, but it worked out in the end. The basement is now a marquee destination in the house.

destination unknown

The other gift of note was a Beer Dispensing Gerow. Now, having any sort of the Gerow species around is a win, but evolution has produced a true feat in this version. Just push his fly or his belt buckle and beer starts blossoming out of his pants like flowers. It’s truly quite amazing. See this new beer vending machine with legs in action.

Darwinism

And lo, we may just have some dry weather for Monday AND Tuesday. Shit. We just jinxed it. Sorry, folks.

Whitley Hanging Tough at Mt. Hood Classic

Anona Whitley fired off a fine performance in the penultimate Wy’ East road race stage at the Mt. Hood Classic to vault ten places up in the general classification. Her climbing prowess kept her up with the big girls until the final climb where she detached a bit, but to her credit she was one of the last Cat 3′s hanging with the Pro 1/2′s.

To make it more impressive she’s been fighting a nasty sinus infection that has at times jeopardized her participation, but she’s battling through it and carrying on. Well done Lil Bit!

Here she is during the intense build phase of her training:

Port is the new Cytomax

Anona Survives Stage 1, Attempts To Sell Bike

We got word from our lil’ bit she’s survived Stage One of the Mt. Hood Classic, racing against the toughest of competition.

Our gal brought herself home in fine form to live to fight another day. More hills tomorrow that suit her well.

Good luck Anona! Keep swinging!

I’m Sneekaboo, The Highest Ranking Clown In This Race!

How much longer can this go on? Can we endure any more sopping wet races? We’re not sure really. We keep showing up and racing hard, but then we keep retiring to the Captain’s house for some committed drinking. The shit weather and need for booze even lured out the sober ones, Willis and guest Joe Martin. I suppose it goes to show you that misery loves company,  no matter how drunk and stupid.

yes, that’s Drew “Flash” Willis in the flesh at an after race party. The press has been notified

Drunk, yes. Stupid, yes. As in making up new bands (again) and making up scenarios about clowns masturbating at criteriums. Sorry. But it’s true. The band of the night is BBQ Clowns. Don’t ask.

Capt. James T. Harwood was in attendance, after throwing down a very fine 4th place finish in  the 1/2/3 aided by Willis, Gerow, and Dizzy. He brought his trademark recovery  drink with, and we think this may have lead to the indecent clown stories.

sippy cup not included

In the 3/4 we brought Dave, The Ace, Lana, and RVD to the bathtub that was the racetrack. Yuck. We connived and pulled the “Ollerenshaw” – waiting until after a prime to launch a group of folks on the same page, and off The Ace went with two cohorts and damn near pulled it off staying away 5 laps. Dave blocked and only a few fellows were happy, willing, and able to do the work while the others let fate decide their chance at the final sprint. Alas, it was not to be. The valiant effort came back with 1/2 a lap to go, but hey, as always, we’d rather race aggressively and make the race than sit in and do nothing. The Ace was MVP without question.

It’s Wednesday and we’re collectively hungover again. Shit.

Tonight is the Tabor stage of the Mt. Hood Classic and this early morning sees the skies awash in water again, with the winds a whippin’. Better them than us.