Ironclad Cycling

Thy Hamm’s protect me.

The Battle of Newberry commenced today. We smoteth thy mighty hill, though at great cost. Many a knight and maiden were left asunder in the wake of battle.

The honchos ascend

Another weekend, another 4 hours in the saddle with about 20 teammates. Nothing but good times all around. And once again our standing deal with the Devil got us the better of the two days, as we were greeted on this day of battle with 50′s and sun.

to the victor, the spoils

So the first races are looming, it’s hard to believe. Our engine is looking pretty good so far but, by the amounts of other teams we’re seeing every day we’re out, we bet everyone’s engines are starting to look good.

Remember, bacon triumphs over tofu everytime. Everytime.

We’ve taken our innate mastery of simple biology and have begun breeding a super army of bike racers. We might be flabby sloppy riders that drink too much and train too little now, but in 15 years we’ll be sitting back watching our near robotic like offspring crushing the skulls of our foes.

We would imagine that if you have gazed upon this warrior and are still reading these words, that you are now trembling head to toe with primal fear. A mechanized division of sprinter/climber/ninja/cannibals will soon be unleashed on the world.

Be afraid.

They look like cute, nice little kids.

But they’re going to be stone cold killers on the bike.

Well, at least for a day. In honor of the Colonel.

Today’s route was about 4 hours worth of 4000 feet with some extra roly poly just for good measure. A fine showing made their way high and low through the fog and rain around distant NW Portland.

And no sojourn is complete without a burrito, if only in effigy.

At least it was warm.

Here we see the team celebrating outrunning the Hell Hound, who this year seems to have earned himself an electric collar as a result of his assholitude. Can’t blame the lad. He’s a big ol’ yellow lab and of course they think we’re tasty treats.

Koller jettisoned some bacon just to appease the hound, for good measure.

When all was said and done it was a soggy affair, the sort that can only be cured by cookies, fire, and Rainier beer. Mmm,,….coooookies………fiiiiiiiire………..good to also warm the goodies by!

Can you see the wild, speckle-bellied three toed Gerow in this photo?

You have to have a keen eye and look closely, as did his hunters.

Hunters?

Yep, we’ve taken the concept of bonding training camps and pushed it higher. I mean, like, The Naked Prey kinda higher. Here’s how it works – we go to the local hunter’s bar in Scappoose and find the drunkest hillrods in camoflauge we can find. We give them ten bucks and the promise of a fifth of Old Crow if they can catch our riders, who are released into the wild in stages with no idea of where they are.

The hunters hunt, the hunted run (or ride) for their lives, and the fun ensues. The weapons are hot, the ammo is live, and we lost four riders to gunfire (they were tasty over an open fire) and 6 more to just plain being lost. If you see a starved bearded fellow in yellow and black, it’s probably one of ours. If you had the “Two Buck Chuck” roast special at the Scappoose Inn, that too was probably one of ours. You can tell because the meat is really sinewy.

We all know what happens when you mix guns with booze.

For the record, Gerow used his catlike reflexes and keen sense of smell to find his way back to Portland via the Shanghai Tunnel and a series of food carts.

Welcome…..to the machine.

In keeping with the theme of the season, 20 of us and our faithful steeds went out for a good ol’ metric century around North Portland and the ever welcoming Sauvie Island. A solid ride supported by maybe the best January weather on record greeted a mixture of Ironclad, some old and some new. We’ve lost some stalwart riders from years past, but we’ve offset that loss with some great additions. Overall we’re a leaner and meaner for 2010.

We hope it’s going to be a great year.

The great weather had everyone out today, we think we saw almost every Portland area team out and about. Makes sense. Gotta make hay when the sun shines when it’s sniffing 50 degrees and it’s DRY in Portland at this time of year. We were also celebrating rider Shaun Conley’s birthday as well, so we let him drink Coors after the ride. Can anyone tell us who said “Coors cures” so many years ago?

The nice thing about the rides when the whole team gets together is that when you’ve turned in your pull and go to the back, you get about a 25 minute free ride. Nice for the base miles. Nice to chat with your teammates, the people you’ll be pulling teeth with for the next 9 months.

So we’re off and running in earnest now and we’re happy to get the racing underway before too long, and for each other’s company. We’ll get more beatings than we dish out, it’s always that way, but we know we’ll have a few laughs along the way with this group.

Good to see so many folks out on bicycles today.