A CycloCross Revolution – The “Hand Down”

You’re seeing it all over. As Cross kicks into high gear, most of us are having fun, despite result or preparedness perhaps not being what we’d like. But some cross riders are getting awful serious and in turn awful snarky. We saw some unjustified blabbering about this rider crashing out that rider blah blah from CC#1 on the chat board. It’s Cross. You’re supposed to fall down and get rammed into by other riders and through all of it you’re supposed to smile. If we were derbying, all contact is expected. If racing, no one wants to purposely wreck into anyone. And now, along with that line of thinking (or lack thereof) the insurance scenes of the world have made it so beer hand ups are illegal! So, as the gene pools of CX series get cross pollenated with so many different agendas, we’re seeing some paradigm shifting taking place.

Squirrel in Iowa knows that his is how it is supposed to be…

Along with All Hail the Black Market and a few other less-than-reputable sorts and sites, Ironclad Cycling is helping to  bring you the latest spanner in the works. A new impenetrable trend in Cyclocross – as it ever so slowly yet deliberately sees it’s big series nationwide jumping the shark – the Hand Down. Beer hand ups being outlawed is like removing crucial DNA from the helix of cross.

Where alcohol hand ups are ending up as illegal in several CX series throughout the land, and can result in being DQ’d, we’ve reverse engineered it to whereby the racer loads up beer at the start line and distributes it to lucky spectators around the course. The Hand Down. Talk about a win/win, eh? The rider gets to lighten their load, and the spectators get tasty (if perhaps mildly agitated) frothy beverages. And hey, if it falls out of the rider’s pocket and another rider picks it up on course, it’s more of a “pick up” than a “hand up”, no? Finders keepers, losers thirsty.

Aloha, Mr. Hand…..
I mean, if you’re out there, and we’re out there, doesn’t that make it our time? And if it is our time and we’re out there racing and having a blast (as 90% of us are) then shouldn’t we just keep pedaling and smiling, and skipping the snark and vitriol? It’s only cyclocross, and no one is getting paid, and no one is going to sit on Trebon’s wheel, and falling down, possibly breaking some equipment, and suffering mechanicals that will seriously affect your finishing place are part of the game.

What are you people, on dope?