Some Recent Results – Track, Month Series

Track Team Captain Drew Meisel scored a fine 2nd place in the C sprints, and Kristin McCarthy scored 3rd place in the novice women’s field as Fast Twitch Friday 5/29. Well done  to  both. They both then attended the new team flophouse housewarming party and ate pork and sweet potato enchiladas with the rest of us. Seems Gerow, Lana, Ryan, and Johannes have  all moved in together near Alberta. Brody lives there. Dave just moved there. Barker is there….it’s a NoPo invasion!

For month series actions, we’ve claimed two wins at PIR with Johannes Weber winning the Tuesday night 4/5 series for the month of May outright. One win, and all top 5’s were consistent enough to win the German the overall. For the Monday Masters 4/5 Dave managed to squeeze out the overall win, moving from 4th to 1st in the last night of the series with a hot spot win and 5th in the final sprint, ending 4th on the night, and earning enough to move up to the top spot. A little bit of a hollow victory as places 1-3 didn’t show up that night, but it goes to show consistency can pay off with a little luck.

Ok, we admit, we roofie’d the guys ahead of Dave and turned Eva loose on them. They’re all at Mercy General, recovering. Several broken bones and massive blood loss were reported, but all 3 are expected to live.

Sometimes We Do Good Things

Normally we burn down houses, grease the steps at old folks’ homes and yell “Fire!”, kick kids, try to corrupt the incorruptable, you know, the typical naer do well sort of shit.

Well, as penance we finally done somethin’ good, pa.

May 24th saw the 1st annual “Underpants and Heavy Cans Ride” take place under beautiful skies around the city of Portland. The manifest was underwear bonanza:

We’re putting different marks in your undies today

And the trophies were a thing of beauty, headed up by Tricia and Eva and assisted by the other Ironcladies. I mean seriously…in bike racing you get flimsy medals (well, unless you win Pain on the Peak, then you get half a  M1 A1 Abrams tank’s worth of metal), and in alleycats you might get a fancy belt buckle, but here we had these beauties for you to win:

How about these lovelies?

And above that we had custom hand made underpants as other winning prizes……amazingly and lovingly sewn again by our Ironcladies, who really did all the work for the event.

badonkadonks unite!

The purpose of the day of course (well, along with all things underwear) was to collect food for the Oregon Food Bank and when all our hearty bicycle warriors came home, the final total was 766 lbs of food collected. For a relatively small but dedicated group of folks, we certainly earned our beer that night.

So please…..check out the photo album of the event here and see lots of folks getting  lots of custom underpants and riding their bikes.

We must simply thank the following:

American Apparel – thanks for the undies!

Cars-R-Coffins – Best stickers ever

Swobo – very cool stuff and you know it

Surly – pretty rad!

Rapha – some awesome giveaways!

BikeTiresDirect.com – the  coolest

Roots Brewery – thanks for the space and the tasty beer!

And THANK YOU to the riders who showed up to take on the challenge! A few of the local teams (Beer, Cthulu) a few local legends (Rev Phil) and a whole host of others that came out – thank you so much, without you it wouldn’t have been such a success!

Kira Crawford 2nd at State Champs RR!

Kira Crawford took home the  silver medal in the OBRA Rehearsal Cat 4 women’s race this past Sunday! Podium finish means excellence! Initial reports have her and a few others going in the early race break and making it stick to the line with some strong work. The team slaved away early on to keep Cpt. Kira in the right  spot to roll off with any dangerous moves and all the teamwork was paid off with a fine, fine podium finish!

More story coming soon and here’s the moment!

CONGRATS KIRA!

The support crews does more,….well…..support.

Please Ride to Fight Hunger this Sunday!

So here’s the deal: you go get  6  cans  from 6 pre-assigned grocers, and you’re qualified to  win some seriously cool stuff. You will get a manifest at registration, and you will complete the course in order. You’ll help feed some needy folks, get a workout, feel good  about yourself, get some tasty Roots beer afterwards, and you might just win some great prizes! All the sponsors have kicked in some great stuff. Woolies, hats, gloves, tires, flasks, you name it. Our sponsors have kicked in BIG TIME, so THANK YOU TO THEM.

Also, we have  CUSTOM HANDMADE UNDERWEAR as prizes, too. Nothing says “I’m rad” like custom skivvies. Our Ironcladies have been sewing and bedazzling up a  storm, so come  get yours! Category winners  will get undies, as will a  few other riders at the  promoter’s discretion!

The ride will also have an option to swing by the Land Rover/Orbea Block Party benefitting Livestrong, so if you have your extra long do-gooder cape on you can really score big  in the  karma department. The ride will be 90% flat and FUN! Folks  from as far away as Bellingham and Seattle are coming!

Winners will be  based on WEIGHT, not TIME, so no need to  bring the spandex, well, unless you want  to.

Show up, help out, win big.

Some Wield The Spade, Some Sell Hot Dogs

Gadzooks! What a night at the old track, which we’re thankful it stayed dry this night. In the 1/2/3 we had Dizzy, Willis, and Crawfy (attorneys at law) participating in the action. The boys worked hard and from finish line hazevision we think Crawfy landed a top 14.2th place. Results unofficial. Nice work, lads!

In the 4/5 Herr Weber went after his first month’s series and helped his cause by taking 2nd in his race. Looks good for the overall!

In the 3/4 it was mayhem with Dave, Q, Monnig, Hudson, and Harwood. Monnigasaurus Maximus Rex was off like a shot in lap one with Jesse (Lulays) and Mitch (PV) to a loud chorus of boos. I haven’t heard boos like that since Ashley Simpson at the Super Bowl. The trio stayed away for a few laps, before being pulled back. Ironclad threw a few solo feelers (and eluders) off the front. A hot spot, a counter. All at once 5 or 6 roll away followed by dribs and drabs to finally numbering 12  and hoisting  a fat ass sail and booking straight outta Compton. Monnigasaurus smelled it, and went along for shits and giggles. The rest of the lads set up shop in back, readying their wiener carts for what looked to be a long night of sales as most with numbers had someone up ahead. Some wield the spade, some bide time selling hot dogs. The rest of us sold quite a few dogs after that. The break rolled up the road and  the orders came rolling in. Looks like dudes weren’t  into anything  fancy, a lot of straight up ketchup, mustard, onion kinda guys. Ahead Monnig snared a few points, behind there was filing nails, paying bills, and catching up on sleep. It was one of those things, you know? Sorta like Limp Bizkit completely sucked, but Wes Borland completely ruled. Same group, split in two under two completely different operating systems. Paradox. Anyhow, no one got hurt.

See you Saturday.

Monday Action!

Ol’ man Harwood returned for his first race after his crash from a few weeks ago and found himself in the break of the night in the masters 1/2/3 race and ended up finishing 6th on the night. His only teammate for the affair, Ryan, was most pleased to see the move form and roll away as that meant he could sell hot dogs for the entire evening. And by the looks of it, some of those boys in that field were hungry and as we’ve learned, bike racers love hot dogs. Some more than others.

Haywood hasn’t lost a step

In the 4/5 it was Dave and the Davettes, with Beth, Lana, MK47, Kira, and Deann all helping out. “I’m the baddest pimp out here, suckers”, said Dave before the race, “you see all these fine women in a perfect phalanx around me? That’s right. Big pimpin’!” No, not really, Dave’s about as cool as a fire. No class, like school on a Sunday. Anyhow, the gals had collectively decided to pitch in and help out instead of riding the women’s race just to help the old man out. How so very kind.

this photo has nothing to do with anything

Despite the coolness of having a bevy of lovelies about him for support, Dave could only manage 4th on the night while one fellow swept every prime and the finish (upgrade!) and the rest of us were set upon by the merciless beatings of one Steven Burger, heretofore to be known as “The Ox”. Really, truly, that guy single-handedly walloped everyone right in the face with his relentless tempo setting. Respect! Late attacks by Kira and Deann helped keep the tempo up before the final sprint. Good times.

Burger, now serving everyone, everyone, step up for your whippings!

So, there are a boatload of PIR pictures at the ol’ Flickr site, and there are also pictures of the team’s other adventure this weekend besides Silverton: Reach the Beach. A handful of our folks jumped on with sister team Beer to ride out to see the big water. Sounds like everyone had an amazing time. Here’s a taste, but see the rest of the Reach the Beach photos here.

Eva, Charlie, and Kmac are all smiles

Mining Silver, again.

A small cadre of Ironclad rolled out to Silverton on arguably the best weather day of the year so far, to contest an affair of hills. As we’ve all come to know, sometimes when city folk go a strayin’, weird things can happen.

We had Gerow and Willis in the 3’s, Crawfy in Masters, Kira and Deann in Women’s Masters, and Johanness in the 4/5. It were a fine day, but apparently there were some hills in the course. And special thanks to Barker for the photo taking, and Lana for the corner marshalling! We’re always ones to help out….

Girls get warm

Crawfy delivers his own Giro-inspired saga from the Masters race:

As we were finishing the second lap I tried to convince the rest of
the peloton that we should protest the excessive climbing by stopping
at the start finish line and then cruising the last lap.  I thought I
might have pulled it off, but when I stopped everyone just kept on
riding.  So, I decided to start back up, but I couldn’t get back up
the main field.  Fortunately, the climbing was much easier all on my
own.  It was like the rest of those dudes somehow made it more
difficult for me to climb.  I hooked up with a few other protestors
and we all cruised to the finish.  I must say, I’m a bit disappointed
by the lack of solidarity within the masters field, but at least I
stood up for what I believe, that being that all races should be flat
(aside from the occasional overpass).

Gerow and Willis hung out in the 3’s race, and we don’t have much of a report yet as far as finishes go. Gerow, seen later in the night by this author, was a human salt lick, and several horses had broken free from their corrals and were chasing the youngster around North Portland.

And Johannes took to the 4/5 all alone, where he and his machine fought each other like an old married couple. “You suck!” “No, YOU suck!” and so on.

Vitriol with a smile

Results still unknown. All planes came back to the airfield none the worse for wear. Tonight we  will send our old farts out to PIR like lambs to the slaughter.

PIR Madness

Another Tuesday night at PIR has come and gone, with the squad’s men and women seeing action on all three fronts. Johannes and the vetting Mark K. took to the 4/5, Q,Dave, Ryan, Lana, Deann, and Kira the 3/4, and Willis, Crawfy, Dizzy, and Gerow the 1/2/3.  And wouldn’t you know it, we scored top tens in every race.

Gerow and Q discuss the finer points of geo-politics while Deann hydrates

Good times had by all, and nice work to the folks who ended up on the red and whites either by being railroaded or by simply not seeing it.

Crawfy 8th in the /2/3, Dave 8th in the 3/4,  Johannes 3rd in the 4/5

Afterward it was back to Dave’s ranch for some rehydrating via PBR and some pizza. And furbies. Don’t ask. Pics here.

Baby Penelope did not race this evening.

Spahr WINS Fast Twitch Friday!

Lots of racing going on, and somehow this one didn’t get posted yet, but Spahr, Crawfy and Meisel took to Alpenrose this past Friday and Spahr won the night in the beginner men’s class with a sonic boom of a ride clocking a 13:46 on the night.

Crawfy took 5th with 14:25, and Meisel 6th with 14:30

Great stuff!

Masters and Women and PIR, Oh My!

Initial reports from the B-17 bringing our warrior quartet of Kira, Kmac, Anna, and Barker home have Kira with a 4th place after good efforts from her teammates in the women’s open, and an almost top ten for Barker. Everything unofficial right now.

Through the wonder of cellular technology, we have a vision for you to gaze upon:

more soon!